Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Home Despot

Since I've been dealing with Home Despot lately I've decided to repost what happened to me several years ago.




My trip to Home Depot where multiplication isn't their thing.

Well I went to Home Depot on the night of 3-17-04 looking for materials to make shelving with my mom. And things were going well; I found a good parking spot close to the entrance.
I walked in, went to the lumber section and found the wood I was looking for.
I got 5 pieces of board 16? x 42? x ?? board for 4 dollars a board. Plus some wood to hold up the boards 12 pieces of 16? and 4 pieces of 24? long wood at 80 cents a foot.
I even met Oscar who nice enough to cut all my lumber to the size I specified. Plus he even wrote down on a little piece of paper all the wood lengths for the person at the register.
I also met a very helpful guy that helped me get dry wall anchors, 2? screws and a level.

Now up to this point things are going swimmingly well and the only hurdle left is the register. Of course this is where all my problems start.
So I get to the register I hand the girl there (Catherine?s her name) the level which she scans. No problem.
I hand her the screws, dry wall anchors and some other small items. Still cool at this point.
Now we get to the wood. She looks at the boards rummages around for the UPC code and finds it. Ok still good.
Now here is where things get interesting. The small pieces of wood seem to baffle the register girl.

Before moving along just to clarify things. This wood costs 80 cents per foot. I have 12 pieces of wood that are 16? long and 4 pieces of wood that are 26? long and the measurements and quantities conveniently written down by Oscar to help facilitate the person at the register. Ya?ll with me? Good.

Ok so at this point Catherine starts to get agitated. She seems to be having a problem trying to figure out how much she should be charging me.
She looks at me and asks me who cut this wood for her? Oscar I tell her. She then grabs the phone and pages for Oscar. Oscar calls her and she has a short conversation with him.
At this point I just know that I?m in for at least a 10 min wait.
I look behind me and see this poor guy in line. I?m like better find another line this is going to take a while.
So I turn back and Catherine is now complaining to herself about how the person who cut the lumber should have put down how many feet of wood I am getting. Since of course the wood is sold by the foot.
Catherine is now thoroughly frustrated with this weighty problem. She can?t seem to figure out how many feet of wood is in my shopping cart. Even though Oscar wrote everything down for her. Giving up she starts to look for help and calls over a supervisor.

At this point I?m beginning to get annoyed and start stroking my beard. But I keep the faith and hope that the person coming will solve my wood issue.
Unfortunately Kelly didn?t seem to have a clue either about how to find out how many feet of wood I should be charged for.

Finally I?ve had enough and I ask Catherine what?s the problem. She starts to complain about how Oscar didn?t write down how many feet of wood I should be charged for.
So I look at the paper Oscar gave me and I say ?What do you mean? The answer to your question is right here. You just have to do a little math to figure it out.?
BLINK BLINK
?Oh that?s too complicated?, says Catherine .
?No it?s not.?, I say.
?Yeah it is. It?s too complicated to figure out.?, says Catherine .
Ok so now I?m started to get agitated myself.
So I give Catherine the Greg Sherwood look that says, are you really that stupid?
?What do you mean it?s too complicated to figure out? This is third grade math here.? I say rather loudly.
Now both Catherine and Kelly look at me. And I don?t give a fuck what they think I just want to go home already.
So I ask Kelly for a calculator and Catherine for the paper from Oscar. I then begin to show them how you figure this out with a calculator.
I?m like. Ok we got 12 pieces of wood that are 16? long that?s 192 inches. And we have 4 pieces of wood that are 26? long that?s 104 inches. Now we take 192 and 104 and add them giving us a total of 296 inches. Now we take that amount and divide it by 12 why? Well because there are 12 inches in a foot. Giving us a total of 24.67 feet. So you need to charge me for 25 feet of wood.
So problem now solved in less than a minute I might add Catherine starts ringing me up.
My mom looks at me and says, ?Are you sure you did that right??
And I say ?Sure I did mom, this is like 3rd grade math it isn?t complicated at all.?
So with that we pay and get out of there. But not before I get Catherine and Kelly?s name for this story.